Noah's Ark.

"Noah's Ark is described in the Bible as a massive wooden vessel built by Noah under God's instruction to preserve human and animal life during a worldwide flood. According to the story in Genesis chapters 6 to 9, Noah's Ark carried Noah, his family, and representatives of every kind of land-dependent, air-breathing animal, ensuring their survival while the rest of the world was flooded. The narrative serves as a powerful reminder of God's justice and His plan of salvation."

Okay, so God the Father invites God the Son and the Holy Spirit to sit on a chair around a table. Obviously they all sit on the same chair because they are three entities in one god. 

God the Father: I'm very displeased with the behaviour of these humans I made.

The Holy Spirit: What's the best way to teach them good behaviour?

God the Son: Could we set up special schools and make it compulsory to attend?

God the Father: No, I'll just wipe them all out. Bastards!

[both God the Son and the Holy Spirit look surprised.]

God the Father: Here's the plan. I've come across one guy who I really like. His name is Noah. I'll save him and his family so that we can start again. I'm going to get him to build a big floating device, like a ship, that can carry lots of stuff. I want to save all the species of animals, elephants, tigers, slugs, spiders. The lot.

God the Son: Elephants could be tricky. They're big and live quite far away.

God the Father: I only intend to save two. A male and a female. They can breed once it's all done. I'll use my special powers to get them there.

The Holy Spirit: What about animals in far, far away places? I'm thinking wombats and kiwi. 

God the Father:  We can do without them for now. I'll make some more later. Look, we get two of each of the important animals, Noah builds this big floating thing - his family can help, we get the animals on board, then I flood the whole bloody planet. We get rid of all the shit. 

God the Son: How do we stop the animals from eating each other?

God the Father: Again I'll use my godly powers.

The Holy Spirit: Why don't you use your godly powers to get the humans back in line?

God the Father: Shut up, I'll do this my way!

Let's think back to Adam and Eve for a bit. Eve breaks the rules by biting a sacred apple (forbidden fruit). God gives EVERYONE, the vast majority are not even born yet, Original Sin. They're born with it. How was that fair?

"Hey Adam, what's this
funny thing on my tummy for?"
"Look what I did. You can't see my
cock now. Hey, don't bite that!"

Then, when he decides to give us a way to be saved, he does it by having God the Son nailed up to a cross. Hey, there must have been an easier way available, like how he got those elephants to the ark.

This information about the flood is evidently in the Old Testament. People have told me that God the Father lightens up a bit in the New Testament. I'd better read some more of the Bible before I consider baptism. Hey, there's evidently no way back after that.

* * *

Genesis 6:9 Context

6  And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. 

7  And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. 

8  But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD. 

9  These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God. 

10  And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth. 

11  The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. 

12  And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.